New Things

I won't go on and on about how quickly life changes, but I will say that mine has done so exponentially since last I wrote.

I've decided I want to be a stay at home mom. Such a strange title I'm about to adopt... it's not really accurate, though. D and I are going to start a business. We're going to do it and I believe that we will succeed. We'll have no choice and that's how I know it will work. When not given a choice, I make things work. It's what I'm good at.

My husband is a wood genius and I will be his admin, basically. I'm happy to support him. It's something I've maintained our entire decade long relationship, minus weak moments of beligerence, stubborness and resentment. I must be appreciated, but what I'm finding is that appreciation comes as a result of appreciation. What do you know.

One of the main reasons for the decision to make now the time we've chosen to advance our plans is Lily. Amazing Lily. She brings out the best in both of us. I want her to be strong, smart, thoughtful, all the things that make up a beautifully bright girl. But most of all, I do not want her to feel limited or forced into a life she will be unhappy, or even not ecstatic about. I want her to know that she can do whatever she wants. Her future is limitless. In order to teach her such confidence, I must exude it myself. That's how she brings out the best in me. She inspires my husband.

The first step is tedious and involves preparation and finances. Not the good finances where a bank gives us a large sum of money... the bad finances that we have to give other people and institutions to ensure we don't begin behind.

Step two will be to quit my job and stay home to take care of my family. We will actively begin moving towards our business plan at that time. If it takes longer than 3 months to get to this point, I might just quit anyway. My job is hurting me. It's hurting my soul, my marriage, my sweet baby. I'm away from our home 10+ hours a day. How can I nourish us all if I'm not near by?