and superman died yesterday. that's kind of sad, although i was kind of freaked out by his look lately. not to be insensitive, but he scared me.
i booked my hotel reservation, now i just have to figure out how i'm going to get there. to memphis, for the "summit". they always name things these glorious names, it's very self-congratulatory. makes me uncomfortable, but whatever. i don't really want to miss two days of work, but i think i might have to. the alternative sucks. i won't bore you with the details (not that there's anyone other than myself to bore).
depending on which news website i go to, the election sways from bush to kerry from kerry to bush. i prefer to look at the ones that go for kerry, but i worry about being dishonest w/myself and setting myself up for disappointment in november.
i'll be out of town for the final debate, which is being held here. and i was so excited about living in a city supporting the most important debate, and i'm going to be out of town. go figure.
well, i have to go catch the bus now.
10.11.2004
10.09.2004
i've just spent
most of the afternoon reliving one of the most difficult times in my recent history. i was transferring books from an overstuffed shelf to a barely used one when i came across an old journal. i did a pretty good job of documenting a couple of particularly difficult weeks d. and i were having where we were barely making it and there was little hope for improvement. check this out (the first page of a new journal):
7/13/02
The day I bought this book for $.45 at Thrift Town on Winchester my car blew a defective head gasket and was stolen from the place we left it before we had a chance to come back to pick it up. It was a Saturday. David was to begin working full-time on Monday and he'd just gotten a raise. We were just about to be okay, as far as money was concerned. We'd been in such a good mood together. We even held hands in the taxi on the way home from where the car died. We watched Mr. Show while waiting for our friend, Battle, to get off work so he could take us to the car and help tow it back home. That would've sucked enough alone, but the car wasn't there anymore and that was worse than the hassle of towing . The hassle of not towing.
It's 1am. I look and feel awful. The air from the window unit in our bedroom is blowing in my face and I'm starting to get a cold. I've got a doctors appointment Monday because of it. Clothes are piled up in the closet and in the laundry room because the washing machine is broken. David never got around to fixing the belt today. Rent was due 3 days ago and all we can do is sit and wait.
i'd just bought the car a couple months before with 2500 dollars, that my parents loaned me, from a middle-eastern guy in a k-mart parking lot. it was a lemon; go figure. and the cold i thought i was catching turned out to be the worst ear infection ever. since it was the monday d. started working full-time, i had to ride my bike to the doctors appointment where i got a penicillin shot in the ass. at walgreens for a prescription on the way back home i had to sit down for a while because i was this close to passing out from the pain. the source of the infection was from swimming in a pool with a kid we later found out likes to pee in.
so, things were sucking. that's when i started back on my upward journey that landed us in phoenix, the apex of my last bout of inactivity. see, i go in cycles. one usually spurs the next. currently, i'm bored to tears, unfulfilled and restless, so i'm looking for a job in memphis again. i applied for a position writing letters of apology. while i'm sure they're mind-numbingly formulaic, i'm still excited about the idea of writing for a living. it'll be the first time i've come anywhere near realizing that dream. after not having heard anything about the job in about a month, i wrote my 2nd follow-up letter, assuming the position had already been filled. meanwhile, i was selected to represent my department at a 'summit' which just so happens to be held in memphis (corporate headquarters) next week. and then i heard from the lady in charge of hiring, they're still screening, haven't selected anyone as of yet. great! i promptly told her i'll be in town on business and would she be interested in meeting w/me while there? i couldn't be more ecstatic at the opportunities abounding. i feel like i'm on some sort of wave of good luck. but i know i've prompted it, just like i always do after particularly dull living. it's really quite the buddhist way. i don't try, i let myself fall into complacency long enough and my energy just takes over after awhile. i rely on that and it's yet to let me down.
what really gets me is i'm not even trying to impress anyone at work, i don't know why they're noticing me. both my direct and indirect managers are impressed with something. i never thought i'd be interested in a corporate career type thing, but i have a feeling only thought that because i didn't think i'd be able to if i tried. so anyway, now i'm trying. we'll see. i s'pose that's all i can say.
7/13/02
The day I bought this book for $.45 at Thrift Town on Winchester my car blew a defective head gasket and was stolen from the place we left it before we had a chance to come back to pick it up. It was a Saturday. David was to begin working full-time on Monday and he'd just gotten a raise. We were just about to be okay, as far as money was concerned. We'd been in such a good mood together. We even held hands in the taxi on the way home from where the car died. We watched Mr. Show while waiting for our friend, Battle, to get off work so he could take us to the car and help tow it back home. That would've sucked enough alone, but the car wasn't there anymore and that was worse than the hassle of towing . The hassle of not towing.
It's 1am. I look and feel awful. The air from the window unit in our bedroom is blowing in my face and I'm starting to get a cold. I've got a doctors appointment Monday because of it. Clothes are piled up in the closet and in the laundry room because the washing machine is broken. David never got around to fixing the belt today. Rent was due 3 days ago and all we can do is sit and wait.
i'd just bought the car a couple months before with 2500 dollars, that my parents loaned me, from a middle-eastern guy in a k-mart parking lot. it was a lemon; go figure. and the cold i thought i was catching turned out to be the worst ear infection ever. since it was the monday d. started working full-time, i had to ride my bike to the doctors appointment where i got a penicillin shot in the ass. at walgreens for a prescription on the way back home i had to sit down for a while because i was this close to passing out from the pain. the source of the infection was from swimming in a pool with a kid we later found out likes to pee in.
so, things were sucking. that's when i started back on my upward journey that landed us in phoenix, the apex of my last bout of inactivity. see, i go in cycles. one usually spurs the next. currently, i'm bored to tears, unfulfilled and restless, so i'm looking for a job in memphis again. i applied for a position writing letters of apology. while i'm sure they're mind-numbingly formulaic, i'm still excited about the idea of writing for a living. it'll be the first time i've come anywhere near realizing that dream. after not having heard anything about the job in about a month, i wrote my 2nd follow-up letter, assuming the position had already been filled. meanwhile, i was selected to represent my department at a 'summit' which just so happens to be held in memphis (corporate headquarters) next week. and then i heard from the lady in charge of hiring, they're still screening, haven't selected anyone as of yet. great! i promptly told her i'll be in town on business and would she be interested in meeting w/me while there? i couldn't be more ecstatic at the opportunities abounding. i feel like i'm on some sort of wave of good luck. but i know i've prompted it, just like i always do after particularly dull living. it's really quite the buddhist way. i don't try, i let myself fall into complacency long enough and my energy just takes over after awhile. i rely on that and it's yet to let me down.
what really gets me is i'm not even trying to impress anyone at work, i don't know why they're noticing me. both my direct and indirect managers are impressed with something. i never thought i'd be interested in a corporate career type thing, but i have a feeling only thought that because i didn't think i'd be able to if i tried. so anyway, now i'm trying. we'll see. i s'pose that's all i can say.
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